Month: December 2022

Negotiating Scenes

Negotiating a relationship is similar to negotiating a scene. Both come after a potential partner is vetted. Negotiations for a play scene are usually short conversations that happen before you meet for the actual play scene. However negotiating a relationship is a series of longer conversations that happen when a couple decides to consider a power exchange dynamic (such as D/s).

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1950’s Head of Household

While it is more common these days for Dominant/submissive couples to have Top/bottom kinky play, the 1950’s head-of-household style D/s relationship is an example of D/s without the T/b. In addition to no kink, some D/s relationships are not sexual either. Top and bottom are different than Dominant and Submissive. Therefore we can stop relating them to one another because ultimately we are making it even more difficult to learn their meanings by doing so.

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Munches

When people ask how to become involved in kink or how to learn, the first thing they are told is “go to a munch!” Munches are a great first step, but like all first steps, they can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect or how to behave. Munches are a key part of the BDSM community. It is where people go to meet other kinksters, see old friends and to establish themselves in their local community.

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To Give You Must First Receive

There are people pushing the “must receive before you can give” ideology in the BDSM lifestyle. Meaning a Top (person doing/giving the kink) must experience a kink before they can give and fully understand that kink to a bottom. That would be ok if that Top was into receiving that kink, which is not always the case. Tops have likes and limits too!

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The Master’s Creed

Today we want to jump back in time and share a snapshot from our past. Perhaps this is a bit of a romanticized look at the identity of a Master, you be the judge. But before we had Mottos like RACK and Safe, Sane, and Consensual there were Creeds such as these. They weren’t necessarily better, they were just from a different era.

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Effectively Processing Change

What level of intensity is your Power Exchange? How does your dynamic deal with change? Power Exchange can be messy and complicated because it involves people in a relationship. Because the more they learn and grow, people often change. There will always be things on the distant horizon that you cannot plan for because they may not even exist yet.

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