Vetting a potential play partner an old school practice in BDSM that gets ignored too often in today’s meet-online-first world. Before you get kinky with someone for the first time, do your homework on who this person is instead of just taking their word for it.
Article link: https://thebdsmgarden*com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=587&chapter=1
For many, wax play is one of the first experiences within the BDSM realm, this is also the reason that so many people end up getting accidentally hurt. All too often someone is watching a pornographic movie and sees someone drip wax on his or her partner and suddenly they are rummaging through their kitchen cabinets looking for a candle that they can experiment with. “It looked so easy in the movie…” or “The women in the movie seemed to really like it so…” are phrases the emergency room staff have undoubtedly heard time and time again. Although most individuals probably make up some story about accidentally dropping a candle on their naked genitals or knocking a candle over and splashing wax all over their bare back as they turned; having worked in an ER I myself heard a few excuses such as these, although you honestly are suspicious about the method of the injury the means is always quite clear. Wax play done improperly can lead to first and second-degree burns, pain and permanent scarring.
Although wax play is simplistic in nature there are a few very basic safety tips and details that you need to know prior to exploring the wondrous avenue.
First, like with any BDSM play; know your weapon. There are several things you must know about the wax you are using before you can use it.
What type of wax are you using? Each type of wax has a different melting point. The melting point is the temperature that the wax must be to go from solid to liquid and remain so.
Type of Wax Melting point Fahrenheit
Paraffin 120 – 145 degrees
Low temp wax 120 – 125 degrees
Standard jar candles 125 – 135 degrees
Standard pillar candles 135 – 140 degrees
Bee’s wax candles 140 – 155 degrees
Oil based candles 165 – 190 degrees
Gel jar candles 165 – 180 degrees
Is it scented or unscented?
The addition of scents or scented oils may entice the senses but they also raise the melting point of wax between 5 and 10 degrees. Take this into consideration before you put any candle into use. Massaging the body with scented oils prior to wax play also affects the skin’s reaction to the wax itself. Although it does not affect the heat of the wax it does affect the time it takes for the wax to cool as well as whether the skin will radiate the heat or hold the heat in. Using an oil on the skin prior to wax play will help prevent the wax from sticking to the skin, and body hair (if any is present) it also makes clean up much easier. When you use oil however make sure you allow for a longer cooling time and that you monitor the skin closely. If the skin is warm to the touch then but there is no visible discoloration, it is safe to continue. If the skin is pink and warm to the touch, I suggest you use caution and slow down a little. If the skin is bright pink or red and hot to the touch then stop immediately and apply a cool compress to the skin, do not put ice directly to the burn, as it may cause additional tissue damage.
Is the candle you are using colored, uncolored or is it clear/white in the center and colored on the outside?
Whenever you use colored wax please make sure to allow for approximately 5 and 10 degrees difference. On a candle that has a white or clear center and colored outside, you do not need to compensate, normally these candles are designed to burn down the center and do not actually burn the colored areas at all.
By using the above calculations a standard white unscented pillar candle has a melting point between 135 – 140 degrees, the same candle, cinnamon scented in red will change the melting point of that candle to between 145 – 160 degrees. This takes the experience from being pleasurable to being painful all the way to being harmful.
You can use any candle for wax play as long as you compensate and use the proper precautions. If you are using a hotter wax, simply increase the distance from the candle to the skin when dripping it onto the body. I always test the wax on myself prior to dripping it onto my slave/sub, this way I will be aware of the level of pain and or pleasure that should be expected. Normally I start the candle out at around 36 inches above the skin, and slowly lower it every few drops until I get the desired effect.
Also keep in mind that different parts of the body can stand different levels of heat. Never do wax play above the shoulders, there is too great a risk of burning the eyes, or getting wax in the mouth or nose, this may lead to choking or asphyxiation. Some believe that if you put fabric or a hood over the face that you can proceed with the wax play, I personally find the risk still too great. The breast and genitals can be included in wax play as long as you remember that this skin is highly sensitive and the healing time for a burn in these areas is painful and may last for an inconveniently long time.
One scene I would like to describe for you has been one of my favorites. I have always been a sadistic bitch and I enjoy every moment of it. It was a cold winter’s day, snow was maybe 8 inches deep and outside it was probably only in the upper teens, so I decided to do a little wax play with my male submissive. I had him blindfolded and secured on a low table with a plastic sheet underneath him. I let him lay there relaxing as I warmed the paraffin in the vat. I use a simple paraffin spa that I picked up at Wal-Mart. It can hold up to 10 pounds of paraffin, although when it is that full it does take a while to melt down. Once the wax had melted I spent a little time rubbing my submissive down with unscented oil, and massaging him a little. Then I used a ladle to pour wax directly onto his lower abdomen, at first he was a little leery I suppose due to the heat but he began to relax quickly. I let the wax run down his stomach onto his crotch and begin to pool between his legs. As he became more comfortable with the heat, I began to pour the wax directly onto his genitals, from his facial expressions I could tell there was some discomfort there but nothing he couldn’t handle. The next thing I did is where the sedition came in, as soon as I poured a ladle of wax on him I dumped a handful of snow on his crotch right behind it. Back and forth between hot and cold, over and over again he had goose bumps and was sweating all in the same moment. I never allowed the snow to make direct contact with the skin for more than a few seconds but the effect was dramatic. I ended by scrapping the wax from his body by using a very dull knife (basically the equivalent of a butter knife). The entire experience was extremely exhilarating and enjoyable for both of us.
When talking to Betsy, my submissive, she explained her first experience with wax play in a very different manner.
“My first experience with wax play was not a good one. My 1st Dominant was unfortunately for me a wanna be Dom. He had decided that wax play sounded good, but he had no experience with wax at all. He went down to Wal-Mart and bought a box of the Gulf Wax brand paraffin, and an acrylic paintbrush, this should have immediately told me he was inexperienced. He brought over a cheap aluminum pot and melted the wax and stirred it with the acrylic paintbrush, leaving the acrylic paintbrush sitting in the melted wax. My first taste of wax play was the brush being taken directly from the pan and whipped on my breast; he allowed the brush to lay against my skin for about a minute. I ended up with a first degree burn over one third of my left breast, the area was red for over a week and remained tender to the touch for about the next three weeks! After the initial damage was done, he proceeded to paint my breast with the brush, adding layer upon layer of wax; not realizing that by layering the wax it was actually holding in the heat and not allowing the skin to cool down between layers. This Dom made three big mistakes. First acrylic is plastic and melts, so when he left the paintbrush in the pan it was actually melting it and mixing it with the wax. Second, he did not test the temperature on himself first; he laid the brush on my breast without draining the excess wax from the brush or even checking to see how hot it was. Third, he layered the wax without thinking about how hot it would get. What could have and should have been a wonderful sensual scene turned into a disaster. Needless to say – I lost trust in this Dominant rather quickly.”
After you are familiar with the effects of wax, now we must move on to the application. As with betsy’s experience you may use a brush, please be intelligent and use a natural fiber brush, you can get them in any hardware or lumber store. Another means of application is pouring the wax on by using a ladle or cup, even directly from the jar itself, in these cases please remember to test out the temp and allow for the proper height in order to avoid unnecessary burns. Another method is by using gauze or material, simply dip the gauze or fabric in the wax and gently lay it directly on the skin, when the wax cools you can add another layer of gauze or fabric or you can simply pour more wax directly onto the material. An inexpensive alternative to medical gauze is shop towels, they are purchased by the role like paper towels but they are much thicker and inexpensive. Simply cut the shop towels to the appropriate width and dip them in the vat, make sure to squeeze out the excess wax before applying the towel to the skin. Another method of application is the use of a turkey baster, again remember to test on your own skin before you squirt this on someone else.
If you are wanting more color and don’t want to risk using a colored candle, try melting a crayon in the wax, it will add color but will not raise the melting point of the wax.
Whenever you play with hot items, be sure to have a container of cold water and towels nearby in incase of an accident.
Whenever you are using a lit candle make sure that you do not have on acrylic or polyester clothing, if wax gets on these fabrics it can cause the fabric to melt to your skin. Also make sure that you do not have long sleeves that may catch fire or be dipped in the vat by accident.
The first time you experiment with wax please make sure to take your time and test the wax on yourself prior to using it on another individual.
If you don’t know, ask. Others that have experience with wax love telling interesting stories about their adventures and can entice some excellent ideas.
Like with all my articles these are my opinions only, please take what you wish and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norishc1@mchsi.com
The wooden ones you use to hang your laundry with … yes, those.
There are also plastic ones, metal, big, tiny (like for scrapbooking), decorative, one with teeth/ridges on the inside, ones with smooth clip ends, etc. The options are endless…
So are the ways you can use them during BDSM play.
DON’T YOU JUST CLIP THEM ON?
Yes and no. It is simply a matter of attaching them to the skin, but HOW and the LOCATION is where the fun lies.
There’s really no limit to where you place the pins – there’s not much that’s off-limits (labia, breasts, ears, fingers, the skin around the rib cage, testicles, nose, armpits, anywhere) … as long as…
It’s within the person’s consented pain tolerance
Doesn’t impede breathing
Isn’t aggravating injuries or wounds
Aren’t put in locations that might cause mental discomfort or trauma
HOW TO TEST PIN STRENGTH
The best place is on the skin between the pointer finger and thumb (and not just on the bottom– anything you use on them you should be able to test on yourself).
Whether it’s too tight or loose depends entirely on the person being pinned.
If they’re too tight, I’ve heard of people clipping the pin open to weaken the coil and therefore make it looser. Some even drill holes into the handles to add spin clamps to adjust the pressure (but too much work if you ask me).
You can also buy specialist pins meant for BDSM but they’re a bit pricey.
HOW TO TAKE THEM OFF
Putting them on is as fun as taking them off, but remember one important thing…
Taking them off hurts MORE than putting them on. This comes from the blood rushing back to the area. Some love it, some hate it, some are meh. It depends on the bottom.
As for actual removal, I would recommend just gently removing them (unclamping) if you’re just starting out. After you’re more comfortable with the experience, you can flog them off, whip them off, flick them, or use a ZIPPER!
WHAT’S A ZIPPER?
Pins are attached to a piece of string or rope so when you tug at it they all pop off one after the other. It can make for some very intense pain, pleasure, and fun.
NOTE: Once the pins are on – they MUST, at some point, come off. So if the bottom uses their safety word, you’re in a bit of a pickle. The best way is to just remove them by hand (no zipper pulling) and give them serious aftercare – including discussions on how to avoid a similar painful situation in the future – although, if you just slowly work your way up to these points, it would be rare to run into this situation.
WHAT WILL THEY FEEL
Some feel intense pain (more than the pin going on). Others feel a rush of endorphins and wonderful, warm fuzzy feelings. Some cry. A few say that the areas become hypersensitive afterward – so blowing on the area or caressing it can produce additional physical reactions.
Don’t leave pins on for more than 15-20 minutes
Don’t get pins with teeth, if you use a zipper it could tear skin off
Sand off wooden clips from anything that might splinter
Do not put clips on the clit (too delicate)
Do leave them on for shorter times if you’re a beginner
Watch for blue discoloration of the skin
Watch for coldness or numbness
Be careful around piercings
*pic is of a zipper