The Lost Art of Vetting

Vetting a new partner is something we have lost as a society, not just in the BDSM community. We see all the time a person ends one relationship and within a week, or less, be chest deep in a new relationship and deeply in love again. So, what is vetting and why is it so important? In Part One we talk about vetting for those things outside of the bedroom.

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Building Blocks of BDSM Relationships

While it may be a fun roleplay scene to temporarily act like it, in real relationships dominance and submission are not taken by force. Submission isn’t given to the one with the most primal urge to take it. Trust is how dominance and submission are earned within BDSM. After vetting, during a period of consideration and while doing negotiations the process of building trust begins. Today we talk about the six building blocks for building trust within BDSM relationships.

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Self Collaring

Self-collaring is where the s-type will collar themselves. This is usually done to express self-love, taking ownership of their own submission (after a bad relationship) to help heal and ground themselves before getting back into looking for a D-type. This is fairly new, and for the most part only recognized by TNG. Today we talk about collars and give our advice for self-collaring.

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Using FetLife

Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It’s also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find the information you may be looking for.

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Uses for Pain

Pain, as a magical or ritual technique, can be generally sorted into one of seven different categories. It should not cause too much in the way of physical damage, because that might make you pass out and miss the entire experience. It’s carefully controlled, carefully orchestrated pain and the best way to work with it is to do it slowly and with attention to the reaction of one’s body.

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BDSM Philosophy

Think for a moment about the traditions that are commonly called Old Guard. The term itself describes a philosophy, not a group per se. A group of people existed that formed and worked toward developing this philosophy. Today we talk about the two main philosophies of BDSM that exist today and how BDSM history is unique from SM history. Recommended reading is A Lover’s Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism https://amzn.to/3JUfz9Z

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Step-By-Step Aftercare Instructions

We begin a play scene with negotiations and do the scene with techniques and safety, but how do we end a scene? Today we give you a picture of how aftercare might look, some possibilities for things the bottom may encounter during aftercare. And we talk about a variety of the floating feelings they might enjoy after a scene.

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