BDSM: Reality vs Romance Novels

If you’ve spent much time on BDSM pages and groups you’ll notice all the black and white images of guys in business suits and women wearing cocktail dresses or lingerie. Often those images will be accompanied by some fancy sounding quote that plays further into this fantasy, romance novel image of BDSM. Worse is when you find these in places that are supposed to be about Education.

Romance novels are not typically good resources for BDSM education, largely because they lack representation. Further, romance novels typically do not communicate a clear or accurate message about BDSM. Some cross the lines of consent. These images do not accurately represent the variety and diversity of those who practice the lifestyle of BDSM. As well, these images often do not accurately represent BDSM relationships in their messages.

Hopefully you take them with a grain of salt and are not caught up in their romance novel sounding hype!

More Book Recommendations

Here is another list of BDSM/kink related book. These have been around for a while and by people that are in the lifestyle. I will update this list as i find more books that should be on this list.

BDSM Dynamics

๐Ÿ”นSafe, Sane, Consensual, and Fun by John Warren

๐Ÿ”นThe Loving Dominant by John Warren

๐Ÿ”นThe New Topping Book by Dossie Easton , Janet W. Hardy

๐Ÿ”นThe New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton , Janet W. Hardy

๐Ÿ”นPartners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships by Jack Rinella

๐Ÿ”นBecoming a Slave by Jack Rinella

๐Ÿ”นThe Master’s Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance by Jack Rinella

๐Ÿ”นThe Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle by Jack Rinella

๐Ÿ”นDating Kinky by NookieNotes & company


๐Ÿ”นBecause I Said So (vol 1) by NookieNotes

๐Ÿ”นFLR, FemDom & Women In Charge

๐Ÿ”นThe Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green

BDSM community

๐Ÿ”นPlaying Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington


๐Ÿ”นTwo Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

๐Ÿ”นTwo Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

๐Ÿ”นLearning the Ropes by Race Bannon

๐Ÿ”นShibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramรฉ by Lee Harrington

๐Ÿ”นRopes, Bondage, and Power: Power Exchange Booksโ€™ resource series by Lee Harrington


๐Ÿ”นSM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

๐Ÿ”นJay Wisemanโ€™s Erotic Bondage Handbook

๐Ÿ”นConsensual Sadomasochism by William Henkin and Sybil Holiday

๐Ÿ”นLearning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M Lovemaking by Race Bannon


๐Ÿ”นThe Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures y Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy

๐Ÿ”นPolyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M. Anapol

Toy bag guides

๐Ÿ”นThe Toybag Guide to Age Play (Toybag Guides) by Lee Harrington

๐Ÿ”นThe Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies by Jay Wiseman

๐Ÿ”นThe Toybag Guide to Basic Rope Bondage by Jay Wiseman


๐Ÿ”นSo, What is Kinky, Anyways? By NookieNoes & Company

๐Ÿ”นThe Big Book of Ass by NookieNotes & Company

Find them all on Amazon Books

Top 4 Sub Books

What are your favorite non fiction BDSM books? top 4 are

1. How to be kinky: a beginners guide to BDSM. By Morpheous

2. The new topping book. By Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton

3. The new bottoming book. By Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton

4. The ultimate guide to kink: BDSM, role play and the erotic edge. By Tristan Taormino

Find them all on Amazon Books

My Magical Library

What’s Master Saturn reading at the moment? I have some mild adult attention deficit so I tend to keep numerous books on hand and change them like channels on the television. I do eventually flow through the entire book but rarely from cover to cover. These are in no particular order. Pictured are Liber MMM, Uncle Setnakt’s Guide to the Left Hand Path, The Only Way to Learn Astrology (I actually have the complete set of these books), How to Become a Modern Magus, Energy Magick of the Vampyre, Living Magic, The Cult of the Black Cube, Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil, Holy Daimon, Infernal Geometry and the Left Hand Path, Lords of the Left Hand Path, Black Abbott White Magic, Clavis Goetica, Holy Heretics, The Magical Knowledge Trilogy, Circles of Power: a Guide to Hermetic Magic, Kabbalah Magic and the Great Work of Self-Transformation, The Celtic Golden Dawn, Adventures of a Magus, 365 Days of Hoodoo, The Game of Saturn, The Cube of Space, Sola Busca Tarot: an Alchemical Way, and Falciferian Sorcery for Beginners.

its a well rounded self-initiation into magic with an emphasis on the Planet and Deity of Saturn. I also enjoy listening to Frater Xavier’s Mystery School on YouTube, Foolish Fish for magical news and book reviews, and the Glitch Bottle Podcast.