Having sub-drop is not easy no matter what is going on in your life. Even if you have a support group, and great aftercare it can still happen. The best way to get through this is to be prepared, know the signs and communicate to your Dom/me.
There is a ton of information on varies sites about aftercare, aftercare kits etc…but not much about a sub-drop kit. Please don’t forget that sub-drop can happen to anyone, no matter how well you communicate or how great the aftercare was.
Let’s start off by discussing what your body goes through during a BDSM scene. Your body goes through many changes because of the pleasure and the pain throughout the scene. Your body’s natural reaction is to release epinephrine from the adrenal glands, as well as endorphins and enkephalins. This produces a trance like state, where our pain tolerance is higher and we have a floating feeling aka subspace. Your body enjoys this feeling, and does not react well when it’s over. It can happen other ways as well like a “runner’s high”. When the scene is over and you float back down to reality you body can cause the opposite reaction called sub-drop.
While in sub-drop, you can feel depressed, very emotional, hopeless, embarrassed of the scene, needy, even suicidal. The effects vary from person to person and even vary with different scenes. This is why communication (yes that word again) is #1. Let your Dom/me or Top know if you have any mental problems, taking medication for it, or have had suicidal thought or actions. That way aftercare can be handled in a proper fashion.
The key to handling this in the best way possible is to know your body, know the signs, and being prepared. Now of course this will vary depending on if your relationship is LDR, On-line only, or if you live together. No matter what, have the aftercare kit, and a drop kit ready, it’s always better to be safe than to be sorry.
In your aftercare kit, I suggest a blanket (your temp can drop in subspace), hard candy or chocolate, your fave stuffie, water or Gatorade (need to re-hydrate after a scene), a dvd of your favorite movie, a letter from your Dom/me (Dom/me make sure you let them know just how proud you are of them and how far they have come in their submission), access to your Dom/me if you are in a LDR or on-line only type relationship (the first 24 hrs are the most crucial).
In your drop kit (some things may be the same or similar to the aftercare kit), i know some of these things are going to sound simple, but remember subdrop is very similar to a bad case of depression. A warm blanket, watch your favorite movie or a season of your favorite show, a schedule for the next day or so (any appointments, medication times, even a menu of food you need to prepare for you/your family), box of tissue, chocolate or hard candy, lots of water, take a walk (fresh air and sunlight can work wonders on your body), call a friend (sometimes talking about other things can take your mind off of what you’re going through), go see a movie with a friend (forcing you to get dressed, get fresh air, and enjoying yourself), take a bubble bath (candles, oils, your favorite music), get your hair cut, colored or just styled (pamper yourself), a body massage (works wonders, but take the bruises in consideration). The MOST important thing would be to communicate to your Dom/me or Top of what you are going through, talking it out can sometimes help you, also knowing this is normal and will pass can also help.
D/s or BDSM is NOT something you just jump into, education yourself about the different aspects of this lifestyle, knowing your needs AND your limits can help the scene, know your body both mental and physical, communication (before, during and after a scene), trusting your partner, and last but not least is to be prepared. All of this can help you and your partner have a productive scene, find a connection and form a bond.
If you have any question you can always reach me by Email.
by Jen of WCDT