Frenzy in the lifestyle is very real and very dangerous. Tops, bottoms, S-types, D-types, newbies, and even experienced people can get caught up in frenzy. No one is safe from frenzy.
Frenzy is when you want to do it, NOW, it can be a kink, all the kinks, submitting or dominating. You just want to wrap yourself up in BDSM. Even if you don’t really know or understand what BDSM is all about.
Why is wanting to do all the things bad? Well frenzy is kind of like going a little mad. You ignore yellow flags, red flags, do kinks without vetting the play partner, do kinks without proper education on the kink and safety measures needed, you jump into a dynamic without really knowing anything about this lifestyle or the person you just enter a dynamic with.
This happens mostly to newbies, everything is just so new and exciting, how can you not want to do it all.
It can also happen to someone that has been in the lifestyle a little longer when they discover new kinks, their dynamic ends or partner passes away, moving to a different area that has a dungeon or established community.
During frenzy is usually when someone gets hurt either physically or emotionally. It can happen during a scene or by entering a dynamic that is either poorly matched up or with someone that is a predator.
What are some things that have worked for you to keep the frenzy from getting out of hand?
finally in my early 30’s I was able to go back into therapy and I found about DBT and mindfulness. I learned so much about my emotions and how they work and interact in daily life. Pretty much being very mindful and also journaling has helped me. However it didn’t help after my partner passed away and yeah frenzy came up like a bat out of hell and I tried really hard but I allowed someone bad in my life and I didn’t vet properly or anything it was a complete mistake. Maybe I needed to learn that a second time in life I don’t know but now I’m where that I have community and others to talk to. That was definitely one thing I didn’t have back then either but I’m also in a better headspace and when I read and keep learning that also helps because it reminds me that there is no rush to anything or finding that d-type relationship stuff.