Discipline focuses on teaching desirable future behavior.
Punishment is to inflict suffering as consequence for past behavior.
Punishments should not be done in anger, and should always reinforce positive behaviors.
Here are some ideas for punishing your submissive without being physical or giving them spankings.
Discussion: This is for the minor infractions or first time offense, simply stating that you are disappointed in their actions and offer a better solution for next time.
Submissive’s input: Deciding on a punishment together, by letting the submissive voice their thoughts on what punishment would fit the crime. Discuss why they acted out, what they did wrong and desired behavior for next time.
Daily Affirmations: Use this for when the submissive talks bad about themselves or their body. This will help them see the beauty and value of their life while reinforcing positive body image. Give them a sentence to say in the mirror every day or even every hour and then take a pic and see the beauty within oneself.
Reenactment: Redo the situation immediately, this time with the correct behavior. Repeat if needed, answer any questions they may have to better understand what they did wrong and what will be expected of them next time.
Lectures: Make them meaningful learning experiences, not just scoldings. Explaining the desired behavior, why it’s desired, and why it’s best for the sub and the relationship.
No Dessert: This can be a restriction from their fave foods, snacks, or dessert. You can also force them to eat something they don’t like (ALWAYS make sure they do not have any allergies to that food)
Writing Lines: Make sure the sentences include either what they did wrong, or the changed behavior. They should be numbered, neat and correct spelling/grammar. You can have them put their finished pages in a folder so she can keep up with all infractions.
Writing: This can be a letter to the Dom, or an essay paper (like in school). There should be an apology, also an explanation of what they did wrong and how this will be corrected in the future. This should be in proper paragraph format with correct spelling and grammar.
Withdrawal of Privileges: Basically grounded from your fave toys or activities for a designated length of time.
Extra Cleaning/Chores: This would be extra chores they normally don’t do, or don’t do as often. You can make it more intense by having them use only a toothbrush or on their knees (get creative)
The following are a little more extreme. Make sure you know you’re submissive enough to know the punishment won’t cause a negative outcome or be viewed as abusive. The point of a punishment is to correct a behavior and reinforce the negotiated behavior.
Corner Time: Having to sit still either in a corner or up against the wall, can also be placed in a cage during this time. No talking, moving, or electronics. Can be intensified by having to hold a coin on the wall with their nose, kneeling on rice or books on outstretched arms.
Bondage: Any form of bondage for a set amount of time. During this time they are not allowed to talk or try to escape, they are to reflect on their actions and what modifications need to be made in order to avoid another punishment. While they are tied up you should NEVER leave them alone or have them gagged (as a safety precaution).
No contact: That does NOT mean to ignore them. Explain what they did wrong, the length of the punishment/no contact and the behavior you were expecting. They are to take the time to reflect on their behavior and how they can change it. During this time they are not allowed to initiate any form of contact (in person, online, text or calling).
Lose Furniture Privileges: They are not allowed to sit on any furniture during a designated time. This includes but not limited to the couch/chair, bed, kitchen table, and outdoor furniture. They are to sit on the floor to do any activity including eating and sleeping.
Removing Collar: This is my least favorite punishment to give or receive. I honestly don’t recommend it at all. It should be used as a last result, and only removing the collar temporarily. At this point, if you have tried all the other punishments and they are still disobeying, being bratty or being disrespectful you should sit them down and discuss if this relationship is what they really want. There is no reason an adult can’t follow rules. They might be acting out because they are unhappy with the relationship, their submissive roles and/or the lifestyle.
Once punishment is completed, it should be dropped. You should not bring up previous punishments or bad behavior when dealing with current behavior (unless they keep disobeying the same rules). Be sure they know you are proud of them for completing the punishment and using it as a tool to be a better submissive and person for you in the future.