Common Safeword Myths

By: Sharon Lynn

First a truth though-

A safeword is an emergency stop and should always be honored.

This is always true because consent can be withdrawn at any time.

* Having a safeword gives the sub the power because they can stop the scene.

No. The D type can stop the scene as well. Having a sw doesn’t give you any more power. It’s just a tool.

* Having a safeword always keeps you safe.

There are a multitude of reasons this isn’t true all the way from human error to predatory behavior.

* Having a safeword can allow you to cut corners in vetting

No. Again. The safeword is only as good as the integrity of the people playing.

* Every dynamic Has to have a safeword or they are unsafe.

No. Many do not.-especially in M/s or TPE. Again, the safeword is just a tool used. Sir and I don’t have one. He pays Eagle eye attention though.

* You cannot abuse/overuse a safeword

A person absolutely can safeword for anything and it’s always to be honored.

But they also can abuse it.

Using a safeword because they basically don’t like submitting is literally TFTB. It is taking over the control of the dynamic to do it how you want.

Communication is a safer bet. Once vetting and negotiation are done and the dynamic begins, communication doesn’t stop.

You need to pee, or the ropes are uncomfortable, or your body isn’t cooperating you can say “excuse me? And explain what’s going on.

If you are always falling back on the safeword it becomes the Boy that Cried Wolf.

If you have to constantly and continually safeword you’re probably in the wrong dynamic.

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